Anytime you put yourself out there creatively you are going to run into haters. A hater is someone who offers their opinion and doesn’t really say anything with value and it’s usually negative. People judging you, saying rude mean things that are meant to hurt you, giving you unconstructive negative criticism and my favorite, telling you how to do it better because you know, they always know how to do it better.
I am all about learning from others and getting constructive feedback on pretty much everything. I love hearing someone’s tips, secrets, failures, their story! When someone offers input of a way that I can become better, or challenges me to see things from another perspective, I try to be really receptive to their feedback even though it can be crushing.
Anytime someone is critiquing something you worked hard on and feel connected to, it can be hard to hear. I feel like constructive criticism is necessary for growth and learning. Not everyone is going to like your stuff, you are going to run into people with different opinions, and that’s fine.
The problem is when you run into a hater.
These comments can burn and linger in your mind, popping in at random times.
I have dealt with haters on several occasions and usually, I like to think it’s by people who mean well and are just telling me what the statistics say or sharing their negative experience. However, there have been a few times when I have had people whisper near me that my stuff sucked. Yep, harsh.
So what do you do?
First thing I try to do is ignore them. I usually just look at them and smile and say “oh…ok.” This is especially true if they have no experience with what I am doing or have never put themselves out there creatively.
It takes courage putting your stuff out there.
Ignore their comments and just remind yourself that you are brave and you are creating your happiness by doing what YOU love. Let them sit on the sidelines watching.
Dear Hater, If you know how to do it better, please do it! Show me!
Think it over
Sometimes people will say things with zero tact and while it’s crushing, sometimes it is helpful to go back and analyze it to see if there is any truth to what they are saying. Is this person trained in the field they are critiquing you on? Is this person your customer or client? Try and look at it from their perspective. Most haters say vague things like… “I just don’t like it” ” or “no one will buy that”. Is there anything of value in their comments?
Brush it off.
In my brief stint doing craft shows, I once had a lady rummage through my booth messing up all my nicely displayed photos then mumbled to her friend that everything here was crap. She walked away and left a big mess on my table and in my head.
One comment can literally make or break someone’s spirit. I try to remind myself of this often when people ask for feedback. I try to be as honest as possible yet, aware of the comments I use to share my thoughts.
When someone’s being a hater, I always like to look at them and think, “eeew.”
You can’t take it personally.
Deal with it.
Haters gonna hate. That’s it. Boom. Move on.
It hurts and can make you want to rethink your originality. Talk to someone whose opinion you value and trust, ask them for some feedback. Don’t change and try to be what you think you’re supposed to be. Continue to do what makes you happy.
What I have found is often times haters lack their own goals and don’t have their own pizzaz. Many may have tried what you are doing, failed then gave up. There have been people that told me I couldn’t do something or laughed at my plans, I went on and did it successfully anyway. I also had times when I went on and failed miserably, but still gave it my all. I may not have been the best and people may not have liked it. But, I was doing what made ME happy.
Get on with life.
You have to move on. That day at the craft show, I was crushed. First because “who the heck is that rude?” Then, I just kept thinking “what if she is right? I haven’t sold a thing in two weeks!”
You can’t let people’s negative chatter break your spirit. Anytime you let your mind wander back to their comments replace it with your own positive words.
As my husband says,
Don’t let them rent space in your head.
If you ran into a hater and found there is some truth to what they are saying. Grow from it. Ask yourself what resources, or skills you can learn to get better. Decide if you want to listen to their criticisms.
But it’s my sister!
What happens when the hater is your sister, mother, or best friend?
I’m not huge on confrontation, usually, if someone I care about is being a hater I just try to remember that, this person cares about me and is probably meaning to come from a good place. I will use the “oh..ok” ignore method or I will simply say…”You’re not really telling me anything I can work with. Can you maybe expand on those thoughts?” ok fine….the last part is usually said differently and with more sass but, that’s the polite way!!!
Shhhh….I’m the hater.
What if YOU are the hater?
I’ve been there. I have been the hater.
I once got worked into a tizzy hating on someone else’s stuff and you know what I learned from that? I learned that I was insecure and jealous in that area of my life! I truly believe most haters, the intentionally mean ones are battling their own issues. For me, I had to really ask myself why I was thinking and sharing such negative things.
Where was my insecurity and jealousy coming from? I learned, I had my own fears about failure and what people would think so, instead of trying to be the best I could be and focusing on myself, I was just hatin’.
If you find yourself hating on others, spend time doing some introspective thinking. If you don’t have anything of value or nice to say, just keep it to yourself. Remember the courage that it takes to go after your dreams.
One kind word can truly change someone’s day. Don’t be a hater.
Let me know some experiences you have had dealing with haters, and how you dealt with it.